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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2015 7:28:43 GMT -5
Stelevein Jedidiah
21 ● Male ● Heterosexual ● PIDA HoR ● Hybrid Demon/Human
SPECIES INFORMATION
Abilities
✔ Incredible strength (Though not super, but above that of a human)
✔ Control and refract like. Being able to hide in light.
✔ Fairly Fast
✔ Hand to Hand Expert
✔ Two Minds (To explain better he only has one brain, but theres a demon half and his human half, which tend to talk back and forth)
| Weaknesses
✘ He has great strength, but it is limited in human form.
✘ Speed is also limited in human form.
✘ Can not control light in human form.
✘ He can only go into Demon form twice a day, but it only last 2 hours at a time.
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Ziv-Angels are much like Fallen Angels. However, unlike Fallen Angels, whom have changed their views from good intent, to evil, Ziv-Angels are neutral. They were once Angels who were seen as unfit to continue there existence living among the others. Their views tend to stray from the pure, therefore causing the others to sense this as a weakness. Their strengths tend to vary.Though they have fallen from grace in a way, their element is still light. There are no exceptions to this. Generally a Ziv-angel lives their life amongst humans. They are very agile and flexible, especially in battle. Their wings are generally black, but only those who are chosen by Ziv himself can grow wings. These wings are generally not seen, as they are in the Ziv-Angel's back. To make them visible, they have concentrate like a bird sprouting it's wings. This allows them to hide and reveal them at will. A major flaw however, is if the night is completely dark, Ziv-Angels lose their powers.PERSONALITY POSITIVE
✔ Kind/Caring
✔ Will hep out anyone who needs it.
✔ Intuitive
✔ Logical
✔ Five
| NEGATIVE
✘ Feelings tend to get in way
✘ Demon half is a bit cold hearted sometimes.
✘ Three
✘ Four
✘ Five
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Feel free to write out your character's personality traits, or just simply list them. Or both!APPEARANCE POSITIVE
✔ Both ears are covered in piercings
✔ He has his arms tattooed in sleeves
✔ He has very soft features
✔ Four
✔ Five
| NEGATIVE
✘ He has scars all over his torso
✘ He sometimes wears glasses
✘ Three
✘ Four
✘ Five |
You may describe their appearance via paragraph, or in bullet points. The "positive" and "negative" titles are there only for your benefit. You may write whatever you please in them!MISCELLANEOUS INFO OCCUPATION: PIDA
POSITION: Head of Research and Development
STATUS: PIDA Known/Outside Unknown
EXTRAS: Please talk about anything else you feel the need to explain here!
OUT OF CHARACTER INFO
Playby: N/A
Previous Character: N/A
Player Handle: Stelevein
Out of Character Account: N/A
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PyroKitten
N/A
200
167 posts
31 likes
Played by Pyrokitty
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Post by Akeekitty on Jun 17, 2015 14:09:58 GMT -5
Before I can think of accepting this bio there are a few things that need to be taken care of first.
Species information: This is the most important part which is why I am listing this first. I remember telling you about this issue awhile back, I guess you must've forgotten about it so I am just going to remind you now. Since your character is both half human and half demon he would be considered a Nephilim here. Unless he seems to lean more on his demonic half and has chosen to, or others identify him as his demonic half he would still be called a nephilim.
As for his demonic half there is a major problem with that race with his powers. Being able to manipulate light is NOT something any demon can do. Light magic/powers is typically the opposite of demon nature. I can't see just any demon being able to control light. That being said I don't see just any particular demon having that power, but I can see a specific type of demon that can do such a thing. I told you once before that you should create a demon breed that can control light.Its the best way to work around it without having to change your character's race completely.
As for the light powers themselves they need more detail. Stelevein can control light, but to what extent? How far can he go? What are the flaws that come with it? There should be some limitations to his power to control light beyond his incapability to do so when he is in his human form. Give me more details on that in the bio please.
by the way, being good at hand to hand combat does not count as an ability since that is not a species inherit trait but something that can be learned, its okay to add it in his general description but not on the list of species abilities.
Personality: While its okay to not list five things for the physical description, it is NOT okay to skimp out on the personality information, especially when you don't have a paragraph there to make up for that. Please list five positive and negative traits there. The paragraph is still optional but the points are still a must.
Appearance I do admit that I did say that you don't have to fill out everything on this particular section, but with no playby to refer to and very little written down here I have to ask for more detail on what your character looks like. What colour are his eyes? Hair? What kinds of clothes does Stelevein like to wear? Things like that would help out a lot seeing as how little there is to begin with.
OOC Account: This is the last thing that needs to be done before I can approve this bio at all. Just quickly make an OOC account then link it down at the last part of this application.
That should cover everything wrong that I see here, try to fix this up as soon as you possibly can so I can give it another look. Thanks.
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