Mirrors [open]

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“Good morning Mrs. Wheeler.” The resonating voice of Dr. Dusan Kadic crept into custom furnished waiting room designed with beautiful Esmer marble flooring and Agarwood furniture brought straight from Southeast Asia, costing the cultured doctor about 10k a pound (with a little extra for the custom design from a world-famous Agarwood sculpture). As he entered to room, the leftover smog of his meal from yesterday still distilled the office air, causing his palms to tighten with silent pleasure. He could taste every unhappy word, every unsettling situation, and it cause a ripple of goosebumps along his arms. He took in a long breath, wafting the first “meal” of the day. Poor Mrs. Wheeler, she never seemed to have a good morning.

“Morning Dr. Kadic!” The jittery intern rose from her chair and began to scramble for her pad of notes for this morning. “I apologize Dr. Kadic, I slept in so I wasn’t able to finish your schedule for this afternoon.” He could already taste this morning’s coffee stirring inside her, heating to the perfect temperature. Mrs. Wheeler was always such a... delicious start for the day.

“Calm, Shirley.” Dusan’s voice grew eerily gentle and he placed his hand on top of the frizzled secretary’s desk. His black gloved hands wrapped around the papers and lifted them from Shirley’s sight. Through Dusan’s eyes, he could see the negative imprint from her shaking hands and she indeed had gone through a difficult time this morning. The vacuum’s in his palm sucked every “drop” from Mrs. Wheeler aura as her nervousness and unfortunate morning took hold of her. Dusan smiled, his lifeless iris’ peered into Shirley’s soul, and he gave her a charismatic smile. “I’ll take care of it. You just answer the calls, alright?”

Dusan’s secretary peered deep into his eyes, almost mesmerized by his unnatural charisma, the smile put her at ease and Kadic could see her energy slowly dissipating to a cool calm blue. He cared not, for he was already full. For now.

“I will be in my office Mrs. Wheeler. Inform me when my 11 o’clock arrives.” Dusan strolled toward the door and entered into his sanctuary. He gently removed his jacket and twiddled with the cuff licks decorating his black button shirt. The cuff links were of unknown design that only Dusan would understand, however he had no idea why. He believed they were of symbol of home, a home he never knew. Dusan had always imagined the symbol in his dreams, but had no recollection of its purpose, but no matter. He was here now, and life was.... pleasing.

Rolling his fingers and feeling his joint and bone pop with each single movement, he removed his black gloves and allowed himself to breathe. The craters in his palms throbbed and twitched, as if they were taking in a long breath. It was always rough in the early mornings, so he generally needed a few seconds with the gloves off.

However, he was done, and he slowly pulled the black custom-tailored gloves over his palms and he took a placid seat down into his leather sofa, grabbing the schedule and began to organize it for the day. What a good life he had; he wouldn’t want it any better.

Soon, it would be time to feast.

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James sat in the car breathing deeply for a moment. He wasn't too sure if he wanted to go through with this therapy. One of his friends at the police department had talked him into getting some help. He wasn't a fan of it but he said he would try anything ONCE. So much had been going wrong in his life. The divorce, his relationship that he was in with another which was the cause of so much of his problems. He loved him but he was ashamed of their love. He couldn't come to terms with that. He also had dreams at night, sometimes terrifying dreams of some unknown male. The dreams were erotic and they made him feel vulnerable. They made him feel as if he were cheating on his boyfriend even. He couldn't wrap his head around it all...

This therapist was supposed to be really good. James hoped he was. He just needed to be able to speak to someone about all of this that was going on and he didn't want to be judged most importantly. He got out of his car and walked towards the lavish building. It was a true therapists office. He boarded the elevator and made his way to the proper floor. He exited and found himself in the therapists office. He walked over to the older woman who was the receptionist. She smiled sweetly to him and had him fill out some necessary forms and directed him to the sitting area to wait on her to call him to go in and see the good Doctor.

((sorry it is so short....I promise my next reply will be much longer))

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Dusan immediately could taste it, a new victim within his realm who reeked of delicious vulnerability. With a charming smile not directed to anyone in particular, he rose from his leather chair, placing his pad of paper gently on the desk beside him and stoically strolling to the door to allow his prey inside. As he drew nearer and nearer, his insides churned with a veracious snarl and his brow slightly tided with tiny balls of sweat. This individual was absolutely delightful, a fresh innocent morsel in his den. New patients always gave Dusan an almost sexual appetite, since all of that delectable bottled up energy burst through their pours like a cut jugular, bursting at the seams, trying to escape somewhere. Anywhere, and that’s Dusan came in.

Gripping the door handle firmly, he twisted and pulled the door open softly, before entering the room and his lifeless grey iris’ shot straight to Mr. James King and began to observe quickly. Regret. Confliction. Confusion. Denial. Dusan’s cool eyes could almost read the man’s entire troubled story through his floating... delicious emotions. He turned to Shirley, who had already popped from her seat and softly placed James’ paperwork into his gloved hands. Dusan could immediately sense the man’s apprehension of being in this place, so he would approach this humanely.

“Mr. King,” He sauntered gradually to his new arrival, already feeding from this man’s very existence, but was precise to not feed excessively on the first greeting, for he didn’t want this man on his lethargic, on his knees from utter exhaustion... at least not for a while. “Pleased to meet you, I am Dr. Kadic,” His Croation slur rolled charmingly from his tongue, his eyes smiled and his face grew powerfully sincere. He did not greet with any sort of human contact, so a simple elegant bow would suffice,”I apologize for a lack of formal greetings, but my hands are rather... scarred so any sort of physical connection is unfortunately painful.” His lie was always so perfectly executed, for his voice did not quiver nor did his eyes ever falter. “Again, I deeply apologize, so please no offense to you.” He finished prepossessingly.

ooc; its cool! your post was fine!

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James looked up to the older male full of nerves. He was couldn't believe that he was sitting in the waiting room about to go through with this! What if he judged him? What if he went and told others? Even worst....what if he went and told people at his work? Then his secret would be out. He couldn't have that. It was bad enough that his wife went and cheated on him and brought about their divorce but she also caused feelings to rise within him. Things he felt he had locked away long ago. Why was this happening to him? He was so consumed in his own thoughts that he barely paid attention to anything the doctor said. He stood and followed him into his office.

The voice in his head was telling him to not even go in there. Run in the opposite direction and pretend as if nothing even happened. Why you fool? Why would you even take their advice? He was a fool for even listening to his coworkers. Why did he even confide in them? Sure he didn't tell them the nature of his dreams but the fact that he mentioned the dreams was enough. They caused him to lose a lot of sleep. What else could go wrong he wondered to himself? Might as well give it a try. He sighed quietly as he walked into the office taking in everything he saw. It was part of his nature as a detective.

He didn't give the doctor much time for anything as he dove right into his issues, "Doctor you have to help me. There is so much going on inside of my head and I don't even know where to start. My wife left me....she cheated on me and left me and took our two daughters with her...The courts only granted me partial custody and I am still fighting for full custody. I have a boyfriend but no one knows he is my boyfriend. I have these dreams with this man who I don't know. Please tell me you can help me doctor. Please helo me...he plagues my thoughts...it doesn't matter if I am sleep or awake. He is always in my mind..."

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Dusan allowed the patient to yammer on and on about his problems in a single longing breath, for he was now positive that this man had deep mental scars which worked exquisitely for the Wurm. He seemed to glide to hi chair, softly seating himself in front of James as he continued feeding the good doctor. When the desperate victim finally stopped he sat quietly for a moment before remarking calmly, “See now Mr. King that wasn’t so hard.” Even through his conniving intentions, the Croatian psychologist spoke with utmost sincerity, for Dusan wanted the man to feel like he was in control of the conversation, that he could disclose any burdens he had to Dr. Kadic. Although he didn’t give two shits about him, he wanted James to feel this professional “friendship”, so he would not have to prod for too long to get a legitimate response.

“Alright James, before I continue I have something I would like to try with you. I am going to say a single word and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.” This was just his standard exercise for all first time patients, for it gave him a general sense of the individual's thought process and discover any deep mental problems buried beneath the psyche. Dusan already had a diagnosis for the man’s problems, for it was quite simply his subconsciousness speaking out about his denial and confusion of his sexuality. The man was faceless to James because his he cannot properly identify with it, since he is keeping his true feelings inside.

“Let’s get started. Man.” Dusan’s tone was completely professional even as the Wurm continued to feed off James’ uncertainties, however Dr. Kadic only sat poised and prepared for the patient’s response. “The very first thought, don’t even hesitate.”

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James listened to what the good doctor had to say. He didn't really want to do this whole word association game but he decided to just do as the doctor asked. The doctor said, "Man" and James sighed and repied, "Me..." James wanted to say more after that but he was trying to follow the "rules." James wanted nothing more to say that he was indeed the epitome of a man. Despite his short comings, his confusing sexuality, his wife divorcing him, he was still a man. He took care of his two daughters and even the boyfriend who really didn't want to call a boyfriend...He wouldn't say he was sugar daddy or anything but he did help his boyfriend with his bills since he was still in Colombia.

The thought of him brought a smile to James' face normally but because he was in front of someone he had to keep a straight face. He couldn't let his guard down even though he was supposed to let his guard down as the man was there to help him. James had his reservations. How was he to know that this man wouldn't sell his secrets to anyone? How did he know his ex-wife hadn't set this whole thing up? James was in the process of trying to get full custody of his daughters. He was ready for the long road ahead. he didn't feel as if his wife really cared about them that much. It seemed to him that the step-father loved them more and took more care of them than his selfish ex-wife.

He cleared his thoughts and turned his attention back to Dr. Kadic. James wanted to know what the man thought of him but didn't want to outright ask. Was the man silently judging him. He knew that he had thoughts, this was his profession after all right? Was he over thinking this? Probably...since he was detective he often times found himself trying to analyze a situation a million different ways when it wasn't really necessary. James had to relax a bit and stop being uptight...Let life take him as it may.

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Me… Dusan contemplated the replay with self- controlled emptiness, observing James’ emotional language through his lifeless gray eyes. The human seemed wary, almost mistrustful of Dr. Kadic, which definitely would not help him when making his diagnosis even if the issue was exceptionally obvious. From Mr. King’s response, it was apparent the Detective is unconsciously doubtful in his masculinity. Dusan swung a leg across the other and adjusted his rump in the seat to get comfortable for the response at hand. “James, before I continue this I must inform you that I am bound by doctor-patient confidentially to not declare a single word that is said during our sessions. I apologize for not explaining that before, but I can sense that you are uneasy with discussing these subjects with me.” He paused, his gray iris’ catching James’ glance as he observed the doctor. “I hope that helps you feel most at ease with me Mr. King.”

Dusan, in all honesty, didn’t give a shit about Mr. King’s problems however it was his job to seem interested and concerned. The humans spoke of psychology as a science of meticulous trial and error, something that required study after study; To Dr. Kadic, it was nothing but a never-ending game. These animals were absolutely weak-minded and allowed such simple problems to cloud their judgment, but that was good for Dusan. The doctor began to recall his short time in school and how it had been such a waste of his life, but such is the life of trying to blend into this world.

“Now, my the next word Mr. King is… Marriage.” The doctor’s Croatian’s pitch grew emotionless again as he uttered the next question, Dr. Kadic’s grey eyes observing the man’s physical emotions reverberating of him like a delectable scent floating from a fresh feast.

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James replied with a dull yet a hint of anger behind it "Lies..." James had a bad divorce. A REALLY bad one. His wife had cheated on him with the man she was now married to. He couldn't believe that she divorced him. The divorce had taken him by surprise. She said that he wasn't around enough and that him constantly working took away from their daughters and that they needed a constant male influence in their lives. James had been gone to Brazil and worked as chief of security for Alessandra's family for two years. The amount of money they were paying him couldn't be passed up on.

James thought Marissa would understand him taking the job. It would be able to provide them with so many opportunities. The job would allow them to retire much earlier than others would. Their daughters could go through college without taking out loans and their home would be paid for and their cars all paid for. James kept his word on this front. It wasn't enough for his wife though. She filed for divorce three months after his return. It was his daughters who told them that the boyfriend had been in the picture shortly after he left for the exotic South American country.

James put two and two together and believe that they were probably dating before he even left. His oldest daughter,Jocelyn, was born to the couple when they were both only 16, she was now 12 and the light of their lives just as her 7 year old sister Melissa was. James did whatever it took to make those girls happy. They didn't have it easy when they started out. James' parents were not happy about his having a daughter out of wedlock and at such a young age. They kicked him out but they strangely helped him take care of his daughter. He had to work three jobs just to make ends meet while he and Marissa were trying to go to college and get their degrees. Alessandra's job was heaven sent because it took care of so much...So much money, so much hope she gave him. Marissa only gave him heartbreak.

He came back to the present and looked at Dusan with his sorrow filled eyes.

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Lies... Mr. King’s response was expected in a divorce stemming from infidelity so Dusan did not react to James intense behavior when answering the question. Pondering, Dusan recalled he own experience with betraying the... ‘beautiful bonds’ of marriage. Although, Dr. Kadic never viewed Kaia as his lifelong mate for it had been more of a mutual joining between a wannabe star and a prodigy (him being the prodigy). She was connected from bloody money to the world of troubled individuals, a place that was extremely difficult to put yourself since all were cautious of newcomers. Kaia had given Dusan enough of a foothold to enter that society and roam freely amongst the wolves, but that was it. He had no reason to love her, for she was nothing but a pawn, if even worth the title. So, during his entire life of endowment with Kaia, he slept around. None of the relationships meant anything to him, for the process was to exhert his masculine need to dominate something of lesser value. Kaia was too much of the same, so Dr. Kadic explored outside options frequently. That is, before she...

“Alright Mr. King,” Dusan changed his posture again, this time drawing closer to him, staring deep into his eyes. “Sex.” Dr. Kadic was extremely curious as to what James would say since the act of sexual arousal was a seemingly frequent topic in his life. His wife’s cheating, his shame of his sexual exploration, and his dreams. What would he do? What was he going to say?

ooc: sorry for short post! XO

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James couldn't believe the man would even go there. He asked him about sex...Why would he even mention it. It was something James wanted to even talk about. It was a serious subject matter for the male. He sighed and said, "Love...confusion...passion." All of the thoughts rushed into his brain at once. They were all things he thought about when he thought about sex. Love was how his two daughters were conceived and confusion is what came over him whenever he thought about Elian. The only man who could make him feel vulnerable....

Elian was a man who he met in Colombia. Once he had been served with divorce papers James couldn't take being in the state so he ran away. He ran to Colombia to get away and relax. There he met Elian Santiago, he didn't know it in that moment but it was love at first sight. Even through their ups and downs he still loved the man and the younger male loved him too. It was in Barranquilla that they met on that summer day. Since then James couldn't openly admit it but in his mind he knew their lives were connected forever. While he may not want to admit it but he was sure that if Elian left him he would be lost.

James even introduced the male to his parents. His parents were definitely not pleased when he revealed to them that he was bisexual. They came from the island nation of Trinidad&Tobago. They were very strict and religious but their love for their son outweighed that one could suppose. James and Elian flew from Colombia to Trinidad to visit James' parents while they were there visiting family. They willingly accepted him and James' mother even said she liked him more than Marissa but his father wasn't so warm and welcoming.

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Dusan retracted slowly into his leather chair as Mr. King seemed to loose himself in his overwhelming thoughts stemming from Dr. Kadic's question. He predicted it would place the detective on edge, for humans it was curiously a taboo subject for the simple creatures. Dusan never could pinpoint why exactly homo sapiens were extremely disturbed from the topic, for it was their method of procreation and exposing their animalistic tendencies. Granted, the human psyche was a frail thing, so Dusan pitied their small, materialistic minds. Dusan regarded once again his emotionless marriage to Kaia and recalled when Dusan asked for her hand that she was surprising joyous for such a meaningless occasion. She wrapped her petite body around him and cuddled passionately to his chest, pressing her lips delicately on the nape of his neck. Their wedding was apparently amazing by the guest's standards, which pleased Kaia greatly. Most who attended had been her friends, for Dusan had only a handful of connections at the time. They were happy for them, but Dusan felt nothing for the two and a half years they spent together. She had constantly nagged him say after day about his work,  but he took no heed to her words. She was his property, so their was no purpose in obeying her wishes. The sex was sub-par, for that was the disadvantage of being a virgin flower. You didn't  know what to do. His other girls though knew just what he required from them. No emotions, just sex.

"Alright Mr. King." Dr. Kadic paused, trying to think of his next questions. He was definitely sure that he could stop with the single word quips. "Mr. King, tell me about your life? What have you done with the life that has been given to you?" His words were meant to carve through James' tough exterior,"Are you happy with your life?"

ooc: applogizes for any issues. Writing from phone lol

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James sighed...that was a serious question Dusan asked him. How could he answer that? Could he truly answer that himself? He was sitting here contemplating his life...the life he was given. He didn't know how how to answer that truthfully. He thought over his life it was no different in many ways than others but he did have difficulties. He looked at Dusan and said, "Well...I guess I have to start somewhere right? I guess I should start in my childhood. I guess that is the best place to start if no other..."

James closed his eyes for a moment as he collected his thoughts. He gave a weak smile as he looked at Dusan. "I was born in Trinidand and Tobago. I came here when I was five years old so I have spent my entire life here essentially. I went back every summer and on most holiday breaks. My father was a preacher...My mom was a secretary.I didn't have the most lavish childhood or anything. My father really didn't like any secular influence in the home. He didn't want the Devil coming in and trying to take control of his family. Obviously that didn't work out too well since I ended up as a 15 year old father. "

James didn't have a typical childhood growing up as a preachers kid. He had to toe the line and if he stepped out of line he was taken care of accordingly. He wouldn't say his father abused him but it was borderline abuse. Perhaps this was the reason for some of his walls that he put up? He didn't want people to hurt him. He had been hurt so much. Marissa just followed in his father's footsteps and continued to hurt him. He didn't really want to go there and he wouldn't unless Dusan specifically asked him about that. His pain rand deep and it seemed that only Elian and his two daughters eased it. How is that he and his ex wife didn't communicate but he communicated with the new husband in regards to his daughters? He trusted the man around them more than he did his wife. He shook his head to clear the thoughts of Marissa. He didn't even want to waist time on her.

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“I can obviously see that your father’s approval is a prominent decision in your life Mr. King.” Dusan wanted to dig deeper into James’ rooted issues with his forbearer, for overbearing parents were always the beginning of every human problem. For Dr. Kadic’s experience, Religion was the most notable controversy with his patients. Too much excess never translates well with the young and Mr. King early parenthood ‘choice’ was an imminent retaliation (wether it was or was not on purpose to defy his senior) to his father’s constant pushing to James as a child of the Lord. Dusan could tell he would despise this man’s father for human’s fanatical behavior to a ‘deity’ they knew nothing of but stories from an ancient text that had been manipulated multiples times from their holy leaders over the centuries since its creation. Reading the word of God... such nonsense.

“Sounds like a wonderful place. I have always been curious of the Islands.” His voice was expressively sincere however deep down Dusan was reminding himself during this session that he had to react to the patient’s emotions, even if his responses were definite lies. Although, everything about this career was just constant lying for him for he did not give a single sh*t for any one of them. They were his cattle and he was the predator, nothing more. zremember Dusan, you must bring yourself to their level. Do not forget to express you humility....

“Mr. King, specifically how did your father respond to your first daughter being born. And, how did it make you feel?” Ah yes, the famous question that every doctor had to ask and the question that seemed to draw out the irritability in his patients. Dusan wondered how James would respond. Although to most the answer to the question was obviously, it helped bring out more emotions in their conversation. That was exactly what Dusan wanted as awaited his next feast.

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How did his father react to him being a teenage question. That forced an uncomfortable and horribly bitter laugh from James. This doctor was really digging for answers huh? He wanted to know every single detail of James' teenage years it seems. It was probably those years that caused him the most animosity with his parents. It wasn't to say that they didn't get along but they definitely had a very strained relationship. They would take their two lovely granddaughters back to Trinidad every summer. They loved those girls more than anything in the world. They wouldn't fault them for their father's mistakes. That was always noted whenever James spoke to his father.

Swallowing that bitter memory James spoke,"To put it frankly Doctor...When my father found out about me being a father at 15 and having the baby a month before my 16th birthday, he, beat, my, ass...There is no way to go around it. He flat out beat me. He left countless welts and bruises on my body. My mother didn't even attempt to stop him in fear of getting hurt herself. All she could do was stand by and watch. I think it went on for hours. He would take a break and come back for more. I blacked out after awhile. It went on so long I grew numb to the pain. After the beatings were over and I was well enough to walk he kicked me out...." The last sentence was so matter of fact, so cut and dry. There was no emotion behind it. He didn't have any feelings left to give. His father drained him of all of it.

He wiped at a tear that was forming in the corner of his eye, "Jocelyn...is the light of the family...Everyone loves that little girl. She was the first born grandchild. So of course they showered her with gifts and oh she loves her grandad. They have the bond I wish I could have had with him. She loves him just as much as he loves her. My olde brothers they don't even understand how I still can associate with our father. As soon as they were able to leave they did. One left and went back to Trinidad the other is living part-time in New York and and part-time in Miami. They both have jobs that afford them more luxuries. I could do the same if I desired but I love my job so I continue to work...Melissa...my youngest daughter she loves both her grandparents...I think she loves her granny more though. They love to be around them and I wouldn't feel right keeping them away. They didn't commit any wrongs...I did."

James often blamed himself for the state of things with his parents. His brothers told him he couldn't blame himself...their father was CRAZY. James didn't see that though. He saw himself as the source of the problem. His parents warned him against Marissa. They told him she was no good and they proved right. When they divorced they wasted no time telling him, "I told you so." They also were the one who pushed him to go for full custody after the divorce judge granted them 50/50. He wanted his daughters only and he only wanted to grant Marissa weekends and some holidays. She was an unfit mother. It had always been that way.

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As the Wurm listened to Mr. King explain his rather complicated and abusive relationship between himself and his patriarch the renowned Psychologist amused the Detectives wounded soul with a subtle gaze of pity. Individuals of his profession generally had to disregard expressing emotions although it was not exactly uncommon for them to do it. Dr. Kadic was the opposite, he had extreme difficultly expressing and sort of concern for his patients; his entire work day was exhausted by Dusan having to show some sort of devotion to their pathetic scenarios. The dynamic between James and his father was obviously toxic but from what it sounded like the only legitimate reason he even surrounded himself with his blood was because of his offspring. The victim’s negative emotions reverberating from his patient, hovering like a storm and Dusan rolled his fingers hungrily onto the arms of his leather chair, feeling the craters in his palms swallowing up the mass floating above James’ form.

Suddenly, the Wurm detected a small ball of liquid trying to escape from Mr. King’s tear duck and Dusan drew back, disguising his aversion to such expressions. Why did human’s cry? It was an absolutely appalling emotion for it exposed weakness and in Duscan’s case would remove any sort of skill in deceiving others if he was to be affected by such simple instants. As James spoke highly of his offspring, Dusan only hid his advocacy against such creatures. Dr. Kadic could never imagine having children, especially children like these animals. Kaia had wanted to adopt when Dusan had expressed disinterest in having their own child and thankfully Dusan had deterred her from doing it behind his back. That night she had received quite the ravenous feeding from the Wurm and it left her bed-ridden for days, which had been good for Dusan’s patience. He was extremely patient but that woman found ways of bringing him out.

“Mr. King, do you know anything of your father, of his past. Maybe even your grandfather; do you know if he was much like your father in the aspect of… brutal punishment?” He made sure to be delicate with the phrase for he hoped it would not set off James with talking about his family in such a taboo manner.”And, Mr. King, not to pry but you know that such a unwarranted reaction was rather…” He paused, clearing his Croatian throat. “Histrionic.”

"From what you have told me there is a deep scar between you and your father since that incident, obviously. Do you feel that your father does not care for you but only associates himself with you because of the children?"